Obviously, I’m not just a writer, but also an avid reader. I was on Goodreads as a reader long before I published Sitting on Top of the World and joined as an author. And after I finished reading a book, I gave it a star rating and, if I felt particularly passionate about the book, a written review. Looking back, I can see that I was not shy about rating a book I hated with one star and writing a scathing review. There were several like that. But I have since either deleted or revised them, and here’s why:

Reviewing as an author

Since writing and publishing my own book, I feel very differently about reviews.

• First of all, I now know how attached authors are to their writing and how vulnerable it makes them feel to put it out into the public. I saw this meme once that said something about authors wanting everyone to read their book but also being terrified that people were going to read their book. This really sums it up.

• I know how much it would sting to get a bad review. While it hasn’t happened yet, I know it will, and when it does, you’ll find me sobbing in a dusty corner, contemplating taking my book out of publication because clearly it’s pure trash that doesn’t deserve the paper it’s printed on. So yeah, I won’t be leaving one-star reviews anymore.

The purpose of book reviews

I know that book reviews are not for the authors; they’re for readers. In fact, I’ve read that authors shouldn’t involve themselves in reviews of their own books — don’t read them, don’t respond to them — and I agree, to a certain extent. If a review is thorough and honest, I can learn what readers thought worked and didn’t work so I can make the sequel better. How will I know unless I read the reviews? And good reviews can be excellent for marketing. On the other hand, I can think of so many reasons why I wouldn’t want to read them, especially bad ones.

With these things in mind, when I write a review as a reader, I want to make sure it is helpful to other readers and is respectful of the author in case they see it. I find that so much more difficult now than it was before — I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I want to be honest and justify the star rating. And then, forgive me for saying this, but I’m thinking, what if I don’t like a book and I rate it one or two stars, and then the author or his/her friends and family rate my book low out of revenge? We’ve all wondered about that, right?

And another thing, too

Aside from all of those conundrums (real or imagined), I also think, who really cares what I have to say anyway? I mean, why would anyone put stock in a book review written by me? I’m nobody. And writing is so subjective; there are a million different opinions about any given piece of writing. I feel like the Internet — especially social media — has created generations of people who mistakenly think that everyone needs to hear their opinion. So they throw it around everywhere, and people disagree and get angry (scroll Twitter for a minute and you’re bound to come across some drama). Ha! Blogging is included in this concept — like, why am I even writing this? Why are you reading it? (Now I’m considering deleting the whole thing and taking my website down.)

But anyway … these questions are why I often don’t bother writing a review for a book I’ve read. I’ll give it a star rating, more for my own records than anything else, but I’ll pass on writing a review unless I am strongly compelled to do so.

Clear as mud

In summation, I think it’s clear that I have no idea what I’m doing, either as a reader or a writer. So I’ll leave you with this, if you’ve stuck with me this long: Check on your menopausal friends. They are not well. And check on your author friends, because they have unreasonable anxiety over things like book reviews.